We're facebook friends in real life
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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