He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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