No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
