I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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