yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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