who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
