He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
