She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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