theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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