you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize