So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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