I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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