Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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