She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
