its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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