He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
