dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
