Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
