fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
