we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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