plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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