we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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