Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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