dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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