I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
