Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
cat food counts as protein by the way
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize