do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
