Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
