It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
