no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
