I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
do herpes really smell.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
