Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
