He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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