You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
