she was so not down for the gang bang
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
