They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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