Well douche your snatch and let's go!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
