I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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