I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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