Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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