I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its about making memories worth repressing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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