I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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