Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
