we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
