I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
