that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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