"it" just moved
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
