it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
