I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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