I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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