but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
