Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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