You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
