I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
