I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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