i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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