I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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