Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
